Total Insanity
by darth-padme
Summary: Two insane 13 year olds are brought into the battle between man and machine. What shall ensue? Well duh, pranks, crazy driving and insanity times 1000000000!R&R please.
1. Science class, and two insane drivers

Total Insanity

Disclaimer: Despite my wildest dreams (sniffle) I do not own the Matrix. The Wachowskis do and they are god. 

CHAPTER 1

Morpheous, Trinity and Tank were eating eating their goop the day after all the impossibly cool stuff happened.

"Okay, we lost Switch Apoc and Mouse, we need help." began Morpheous.

"Hey, what about Dozer?" asked Tank

"Oh ya, him too. As I was saying, we need help, and that means..."

"You don_t mean..." gasped Trinity.

"Yes, we must go to SGS Junior High and recruit the crazy eighth graders." Morpheous said grimly.

"But, they_re insane!!!!!!!" Trinity and Tank yelled as one.

"Yes, imagine what_d happen if we set em on an agent." Morpheuos replied.

Trinity smiled evilly. Neo chose that moment to walk in. "Hi did I miss anything."

"Gee, dya think" Trinity remarked sarcastically.

Neo pouted. "Why are you always so sarcastic?"

"Because I believe I just am. I believe that you are a whiny loser. And, if you don_t like it, I believe you can go to hell."

"Oh, okay."

Trinity rolled her eyes. "Neo, we have to recruit the crazy eighth graders from SGS Junior High."

"So, Oh Dumb One, they are completely insane!" Trinity explained, as if it were totally obvious.

"So, they_re no different from you then?"

Trinity jumped up, froze in the air, and then kicked Neo in the side of the head. Hard.

"OWIE!!!!!!!!"

"Geez, Neo you_re pathetic, you_re the one, and she_s just a girl." Morpheous snorted.

Trinity kicked him too. Even harder than she kicked Neo.

"MOMMY!!!!!!!!! I mean...ow?" Morpheous screeched.

Trinity and Tank started laughing hysterically. Neo just continued crying on the floor. 

"Hey! That_s not funny!" pouted Morpheous.

"Yes it is." said Trinity through her laughter.

"Whatever, Trinity, you go get the crazy ones, Neo...just stay there crying until we get back."

"Oh..sob...k"

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AT SGS JUNIOR HIGH...

"Ummm...should we be listening?" The blond girl at the back of the room asked her friend sitting beside her.

Her friend, Darth_Padme looked up from re drawing the entire Matrix cast as gummy bears (A/N We actually did that once.) "Are you kidding we_re in Science class."

"So...?" GT asked.

"So, oh dumb one, we should do what we usually do."

"You mean this?" GT asked, banging her head on the desks repeatedly.

"No, dumbass, the other thing."

"Oh, okay." GT raised her hand.

"Yes, Ms. Terrise?" Mr. Rozzie, their science teacher asked.

"Why?" GT asked.

"I just explained that." replied Mr.Rozzie, now obviously pissed off.

"Oh, sorry." GT turned to Darth_Padme. "That didn_t go to well."

"Noooo, really?" Darth_Padme remarked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  
"Ooooooh, a little sarcastic today, are we?" GT asked.

"Yes, and, if you don_t like it, I believe you can go to hell." Darth_Padme replied, quoting the Matrix.

"Okay, maybe it wasn_t a good idea for you to stay up last night watching the Matrix." GT commented, by now questioning her friends sanity.

"Of course it was, and, if you don_t like it, I believe you can go to hell." Darth_Padme repeated.

Now it was GT_s turn to bang her head on her desk.

"That_s not good for you, you know."

GT made a guesture at Darth_Padme (I_m sure you all know what it was).

"What the hell?" asked Darth_Padme.

"I just extended my middle finger in you_re general direction, you got a problem with it?"

"No, dumbshit, that." Darth_Padme pointed to the front of the room, where a woman with short dark hair wearing a shitload of black leather stood talking to Mr. Rozzie. She looked awfully framilar.

"You two, come with me." The lady said, pointing to GT and Darth_Padme.

GT and Darth_Padme bolted out of the classroom of death behind the lady.

"We didn_t do it!!!!!!!" They exclaimed as one.

The lady laughed. "You_re not in trouble."

"Good."

"My name is Trinity." The lady said.

Darth_Padme abandoned all dignity and began jumping up and down giggling insanely. "YOU_RE KIDDING?!!!!!!!!!!!" she screeched.

"No, should I be?" asked Trinity.

"Never mind her, she just idolizes you and is hooked on the movie The Matrix." GT explained.

"Damn straight!" exclaimed Darth_Padme.

"Anyways, I_m going to take you to go see Morpheous." Trinity explained.

"You mean freaky-bald-guy-whose-sunglasses-are-superglued-to-his-face?" asked GT.

"And I thought I was the only one who called him that." Trinity commented. "Anyways, who wants to drive?"

Darth_Padme let out a screech and swiped the keys from Trinity_s hand. "ME!!!!!!!!!"

"Uh-oh." GT said.

"What?" asked Trinity.

"She_s insane." GT stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

"Hey, come on, I have to drive, my parents won_t let me drive their car anymore after I crashed it for the umm...again." Darth_Padme whined.

They walked out into the parking lot, parked out in front is a black Honda Civic.

"Ooooooh nice." Darth_Padme said.

"I thought you drived ugly old cars." GT said.

"No, that was a rental, this was in the shop after I crashed it. Again." Trinity explained.

"I see."GT said, getting into the car. Trinity climbed in, and before you could say Nebachadnezzer, Darth_Padme reved the engine and peeled out of the parking lot.

"Told you she was crazy." GT screamed as Darth_Padme whipped around a corner.

"Just get us to 101 Main Street before we all get killed." Trinity yelled.

"Okay, we_ll be there in 6 minutes." Darth_Padme promised.

"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed GT and Trinity.

"Okay, 5."

5 Minutes Later..

"Ha, told you it could be done!" Yelled Darth_Padme, whipping the car into a parking space, knocking over three pedestrians and a garbage can.

Trinity gets out of car, bends over and hurls. "That about sums up your driving." 

The girls followed Trinity to the door, walking in a zig zag pattern.

Trinity led them up some stairs, and stopped outside a door. "You know, be honest and all that crap." She opened the door.

Morpheous turned around. "Hello...Trinity what the hell happened to you?" He was, no doubt referring to the fact that her skin was green and her hair was standing straight up.

"She_s a worse driver than I am." She answered, pointing to Darth_Padme.

"I didn_t think it was possible." Morpheous muttered. He escorted Trinity to the door and closed it.

"I imagine you two are feeling.." he began, but was cut off by GT.

"Look dude, we know, just give us two red pills god damn it." She said.

"Fine, but before I do, do you have any questions?"

"Ya, how do you_re sunglasses stay on your face?" asked GT.

"A, not related to the current topic. B, shut up." Morpheous answered.

"Why?" asked GT.

"Oh God, here we go again." Darth_Padme sighed.

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So, how_d u like it? Review please, I_ll add more when I can. And yes, I do know how to spell Nebachadnezzer.


	2. Sparring program

Total Insanity

Chapter 2

D_P: I'm Ba-ack!!!!!!!!

(Readers run in fear)

D_P: Hey, I'm not that insane.

SSJV: Ummm...yes you are.

D_P: Where'd you come from?

SSJV:*shrug*

D_P: Whatever. I don't own any of this stuff, unfortunately

****

CHAPTER 2

(A/N: I know I left out a bunch of stuff, but we're already on the Nebachadnezzar ok?)

GT and D_P woke up in their room on the Nebachadnezzer. The door opened just as the lights came on, and Tank walked in.

"Hi Tank," greeted GT

"Good morning," he replied.

"What the hell's so good about it?" D_P remarked.

"Why are you so sarcastic?"

"It's five in the god damn morning, of course I'll be sarcastic. And, if you don't like it, I believe that you can go to hell." D_P returned.

"Oh god, Trinity's bad enough, now there's two of you." Tank groaned.

"Ha ha, sucks to be you."

"Whatever, lets just start your god damn training okay?"

"Meh."

They followed Tank into the core of the Neb. "Okay, we'll start with the combat traing program, although I'm not sure that's exactly safe." Tank told them.

"Cool," GT commented.

They sat in the reality chair thingimabobbers and Tank loaded up the program.

The girls spent the last 3 hours learning various forms of combat, both armed and unarmed. They opened their eyes to see Morpheous just standing there, which freaked them out.

"We know kung fu," they said, smiling demonically.

"Show me," Morpheous taunted GT.

"Sure," she said, still smiling in that evil way.

"Umm...yo freaky bald guy are you sure thats a good idea?" D_P asked sceptically.

"Meh, she's just a girl, how good can she be at this stuff?"

"Okaaay.." D_P replied.

GT and Morpheous were loaded into the sparring program, and GT immediatly began kicking his ass.

D_P ran into the mess hall, where Trinity and Neo were eating. "GT is kickin' Morpheous' ass!" she yelled.

Trinity got up to follow her, pausing only to throw a handfull of mush at Neo.

In the sparring program, Morpheous was speaking about 8 octaves higher as GT kicked him, again, and again, and again. Morpheous finally rolled out of the way and aimed a foot at GT.

"Geez, do you ever wash your feet, they stink!" GT exclaimed as she easily dodged the kick.

"Shut up."

"No." GT flipped him over her back. 

"Okay thats enough!" Morpheous squeaked from the floor.

GT and Morpheous were brought back to the real world and greeted by the sight of Trinity and D_P pointing and laughing at Morpheous.

"What?" he asked.

"Dude, GT kicked your ass!" Trinity snorted.

Morpheous glared. "Whatever. Neo, you can fight this one." He pointed to D_P.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" D_P laughed evilly.

"Ummm...Morpheous, is that a good sign?" Neo asked behind his hand.

"I have no idea." came the reply.

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Okay, how was it? R&R please!!!!!!!!!


	3. DarthPadme vs Neo

Total Insanity

Chapter 3

The Madness Continues

D_P and Neo were loaded into the sparring program. Neo rushed immediately at D_P who ducked at the last second, easily flipping him over her back.

          "Hey!! That's cheating!" he whined

          "Is not! I mastered that move in roller hockey last year!" She yelled back.

          Neo got up and tried to kick her, but she side stepped the kick easily. He punched out in blind frustration, but, once again, the One was no match for the sugar high, combat trained, insane teenager. D_P grabbed his fist and forced it back into his own face.

          "Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!" She taunted.

          Neo twisted out of her grasp, turned to run and smashed into one of the pillars. "I meant to do that!"

          "Right, I really believe you." Came the sarcastic reply.

          D_P had an idea. She ran over to the pillar, which had left several long splinters on the floor. She grabbed one and tossed one to Neo. Before Neo could ask what the hell she was doing, she lunged and poked him with the splinter.

          "Hey! Not fair! We didn't learn fencing!" Neo yelled.

          "Well, I've been fencing for years so sucks to be you!" She shot back.

          After about 5 minutes, however, D_P got bored at how one sided this was becoming. She missed a parry on purpose, letting Neo's splinter poke her ever so slightly in the stomach.

          She collapsed on the floor as if mortally wounded, face down so he couldn't see her laughing. "You bastard!!! That hurt!" she yelled.

          "Oh, sorry, are you okay?" he asked, offering her his hand.

          She grabbed his hand and flipped him onto the ground. She kicked him again and again, and, well, again. "Perfectly fine." She answered cheerfully. 

          Neo and D_P were brought back into the real world and greeted by the sight of Trinity and GT rolling on the ground in fitsd of hysterical laughter.

          "What?" asked Neo, clueless as always.

          "Dude, she totally kicked your ass!" gasped GT through her laughter.

          "That was mean! Hey! Tank, are you laughing at me?!"

          "Umm…no?" snorted Tank.

Neo stalked off pouting, while the rest of the crew, minus Morpheos, cause no one knew or cared where he was, burst out in hysterical laughter.

READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	4. Hearts and Rainbows!

Total Insanity

CHAPTER 4

Will The Madness Never Stop?

No

Disclaimer: Wachowskis are god, I don't own squat, blah blah blah.

"Mua ha ha!!!!!!!!"

Morpheus woke up and looked at his alarm clock. It was 5 am, and, knowing what had happened the last time he heard that laugh, (lets just say it involved hacking into his clothes loading disk and turning it all into pink, frilly dresses), he figured it was time to get up.

The laugh had come from Neo's room. Morpheus opened the door.

GT and Darth_Padme saw hijm coming and tried unsuccessfully to hide the markers they were drawing on Neo's face with. Someone else dove behind the bed.

"What the-," Morpheus wondered. He heard a giggle from behind the bed. "Trinity? Is that you?"

"Umm...no?" She repied from behind the bed.

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP A LOOKOUT!!!!!" screamed GT and D_P, pointing at each other.

"No, you were!"

"Hey! Are you blame shifting?"

There came a loud thumping noise from where Trinity was hiding, the sound of her hitting her head repetively on the wall.

"Umm...Trin, you can come out now, our covers been blown," whispered D_P.

"God damn it!" exclaimed Trinity, emerging from behind the bed.

Neo chose that moment to wake up. Not known to him, he had hearts and rainbows drawn all over his face.

Trinity, GT and D_P tried unsuccesfully to hold back their laughter. Even Morpheus ws having trouble keeping a straight face at the sight of the One, wearing only polka dotted boxers, with hearts and rainbows scribbled messily across his face.

"What?" asked Neo, clueless as always.

This only made Trin, GT and D_P collapse on the floor in laughter. Morpheus now appeared in great pain trying to hold back his laugter.

The door opened and Tank came in. "Hey what's everyone doing in Neo's r-" He burst out laughing as he realized what had happened to Neo.

"What the hell is so funny?" yeled Neo.

"Go...look...in...a...mirror,"gaspe Tank.

Neo huffed off to do so. The crew heard a high pitched shriek. 

Neo came back in. "Okay, who did this?" he demanded.

"Morpheus did it!" yelled GT, Trinity and D_P, pointing to Morpheus.

"HEY!!!!!!!!!" Neo yelled, launching himself at Morpheus. Morpheus ran. Very very fast. Neo chased him. All the rest of the crew did was explode in laughter...again.

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Ok, how was it? Review this please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And in case u were wondering, GT is based on my friend, fanfic author Vegesa: SSJ Jedi Knight.


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